Tag: #dogs

Posted on in dog training, german shephards, humor

I Smell Like Bacon and Other Dog Realities…

When it is blazing hot we take fun inside. But today we worked. I took the entire day to train one command. My training titles are a tad different from the traditional dog blogs. Why, I am not a trainer, just a GSD mom, who is in over her head. I trained every hour on the hour for ten minutes. My command. Get off my effing lap. Now, she is a jumper, because she is a dog, but she is seventy pounds and my height. It ain’t cute. It was my first order of business and unless super thrilled or overly crazy, she no longer jumps on me as I stroll through my air conditioned sanctuary and our makeshift training grounds. Now, she is not a food girl. But I found her weakness bacon treats. Disgusting. Little tiny preshaped bones, are her version of cavier and because I am cheap and do not want a chubby pup. I break them up to almost a powder form that she licks with delight. I now smell like prefabricated bacon.

We worked from chair to chair in my house. Of course with both pups, because the other one is well a follower, and while he would never jump, he thinks he is working. Not so bright. Loving. But. He enjoys short walks, a bone, and getting brushed. She is killing me. All day she was amazing. I thought I had this off my to do list before school resumes. Nope. At the end of the night, up she came again and this time sat on my lap to watch TV. That little b**** . Literally. I ignored her as the experts say to ignore. I got up (interesting maneuver) and walked away, again the experts wise expertise. I sat in another chair and called her over and I gave her love when all paws were down, if one paw came up for a cute look at me, it was a stern stare, a hand before her face and a NO, a quiet one. This was my call. We did this in every chair with the added bacon. She did not jump. I brought her back to reality and put her to bed. She is truly more tired than I am. She knows she met her match. But she will test again and again and again. Until she gets that it is a hard no, or until I permanently smell like bacon. As for her buddy he got brushed ate a nice rawhide bone and was happy.

Posted on in german shephards, life

The Hat

I have never owned a hat and at sixty years old, that is probably odd. I am not a hat person, and the Kentucky Derby is not on my bucket list for this very reason, along with the humidity. My hair swells. Think Monica on the vacation episode. No control. Just additional volume. Alot. But now, I am a German Shephard mom, and their walking needs are about three to four miles a day or more, a hat in Arizona is a necessary new clothing must. If you do not know, it is hotter than hot by 7:00 AM. So, the hat helps, a little. But I still look like an absolute fool. The worst part is the hubs who bought this little heat miracle, laughed the moment he saw it on me. Like out loud in public, to the point that people turned and stared. Probably secretly joined in as well. I am not a hat girl. The next day, after his folly and expense, I tried to get out without wearing my new friend. He reminded me. Yup. He wanted a giggle; I am sure of it. I obliged due to the heat, not his upcoming laughs. I tossed it on like a hat pro, it is a bucket hat, so really this is just much worse, with a tie. Yup. Glancing at my hubs of thirty-five years, I knew what was coming, but secretly hoping that possibly I had become a hat gal overnight. Nope, laughter that he tried to stifle. My eyes rolled and then for him it was over, even the pups gave me a look. But the heat. So, I prevailed, kept the hat on and walked my dogs their miles, still hot. Not me, the physical feeling of hot. But the feeling of sparing myself a bit of UV rays made me feel like I was the winner.

Posted on in dog training, german shephards, humor

Welcome to Doggie Charm School…

Leave it, sit, stay, stay, stay, no…and a finally an occasional good dog. This is my new vocabulary. A chosen one. But words that I am already wanting to expand. Quickly. Coco and King are loved, wanted, but wow…a handful. I blame the small yippie dogs next door to us and the fact that they are allowed to bark all day long. But in reality my pups are just doing their job, too well. They need to quit. Turn in the resignation and spend their days getting spoiled. Breaking their German Shephard bad habits is my task this summer. Some days, I feel like a Master Teacher. But most days, especially today, I am struggling to get a passing grade. Shush, leave it, good dog etc works along with love and treats but they are toddlers mixed with teen brains, so my reputation is high and some days their desire to listen is low.

Their barking is the worst habit. Next up chewing if not monitored, and just overall a level of play that boggles the mind. But my day job is teaching teenagers, so if anyone has the patience, it is me…I think. This morning they wanted to get up before 5 am. Nope. We did go out to create more shit for me to pick up, but back to crates for me to choose their morning walk time. Now this time is akin to a toddler running to the next line at Disneyland, or it was. It took six weeks, but we have a routine with no pulling. No longer do I fly down the street. So, this morning, I will wait. They will wait and perhaps they will learn that I enjoy the light of the day. Or not.

Do I have suggestions? Absolutely not but my new reading genre is self-help for GSD, but if you are reading this and just found a shoe, chair or chairs in tatters. Remember you are not alone. Just stay patient, calm, and take it one day at a time. There should be a group for this…Hi, my name is Tracy, I have two GSD and no patio furniture…insert no judgement and other stories with a prayer to not find disaster awaiting you during your escape. It would fill.

***Please note, my reference to a dog discussion (self-help) group does not make light of sobriety groups. They save lives. I know that, first hand.***