If I Could Not Fail?

This title reminds me of the bad morning prompts, that I give to my 7th graders, on journal writing mornings. AKA, I need five extra minutes to get my shit together mornings. Or leave me alone mornings. Or really, in the first ten minutes I have solved twenty-seven problems and listened to twelve stories and five bad jokes. Really bad. Those mornings are how the deep prompt times come alive. I can pull this stuff out of my arse and into their lives within seconds. Silence, due to their momentary confusion, until a voice asks, “Can we not fail in an alternate dimension?” Of course, I allow their parallel craziness which brings a sigh and ideas galore. Too many for fifteen minutes but I get my own moment and many universal success stories based on combinations of video games, cartoons, bad Netflix, and You Tube to read, come writing journal grading. My mind swims in stories that make sense if your name is Mack and you just fell through a cosmic hole to Earth, only to find your long-lost brother, who of course is your twin, named yes, Truck. I will stop. It gets worse but to go with the prompt Mack was successful. Phew.

But what if you could not fail. Where would you head and what fears would you finally conquere? Interesting concept. I find fear holds me back as an adult. Kids will barrel through about anything ie Mack and Truck, but as adults, we second guess most everything. Or is that just me. Am I alone in this world of breaking my own personal glass bubble? Perhaps, it’s not exactly cocktail party conversation so my data is limited.

Within social media we watch accomplishments that I can only dream about and tend to wonder why I can’t make that my reality. Now don’t fear, Jordan, Brady, and the other GOATS you can rest easy, no athletic desire to break their bests. But there are other areas where my talent goes untapped due to fear of failure. My “what ifs” are greater than my efforts at new opportunities. This was not always the case. I fell into this a few years ago after a big failure which was also right about the time of menopause, or at least the beginning of it, and if you have not hit that stage, just wait. It never leaves. It just gets worse. I can’t blame my fear of failure on this stage of life. So, I won’t. It already takes the blame for so many other physical issues, why give it fear of failure. Too much. I own this and am very tired of my own excuses. So, I am breaking free and feeling fear in every tiny cell as I take chances in my blog writing as I settle on a final blog direction, my daily 9-5, and that book. It Feels good. While no grand accomplishments have whisked into my Facebook to humble brag to the world, and with my blog still covering three different areas of my life and obviously still under-construction, as I explore the initial stages of niche finding. I have taken small steps and a possible niche discovery, with a healthy fear but finally feeling awesome about my future direction. I know that failure or detours (nicer ring to it) are part of a process and that we should not fear but do our desires and see where they roll. Why not? We should embrace the day and opportunity in the direction we desire. I have taught my students that “detours” are ok and will create their personal growth. After another speech on Wednesday, to a group of 7th graders, I feel finally free of my funk and fear. I am ready to find my voice in all areas of my writing and life, menopause be damned.

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