Category: life

Posted on in echelon, fitness, goals, grey hair, health, intermittent fasting, life, weight loss, weight watchers

Alternate Image

We have mental images of ourselves. I am skinnier. This of course is odd. Most have the inner picture of our bodies as larger. Some all over. Some in certain places. But larger. I think smaller in an overall general body image, until I found a mirror on a bad day in workout gear. That is a picture no one needs to see, especially the owner of this body. Nope. I kept looking unable to see me, just a foreign old lady that was anyone but me on any given day. I wanted to run and hid but instead I realized the true power of the before picture.

Now, my fantasy ideal of the skinny me has been replaced by reality, which I am now painting a tad worse in my minds eye. But it is the picture in my weary old head that now keeps me motivated to stay on points, fast, drink lemon water, and detox with hibiscus tea and get on my bike. I notice about three ounces gone…but I continue as fat was not built in a day, and overall health is the goal. Not a size. But surely not the old hag in the mirror. Somewhere in between, with my continued motivation I will succeed not only in health but coming to grips with 60 and the obvious changes it brings, even to those of great beauty. We all suffer a bit. It shows physically but we really are dealing with the mental struggle of age compounded with a bit of extra skin.

With each new day. on this journey, I say positive affirmations, pray, and look at myself in a new way. I see the changes. Others will as well, but at three or four ounces of loss, I understand their difficulties. Now, my change is just for me and my pride. Others may just see my acceptance and glow of growing health, and that might be the best gift. Along with twenty pounds.

Posted on in fitness, goals, health, life, weight loss, weight watchers

The Dieting Teacher

The word dieting is negative. I prefer healthy. I have done it all and still am about twenty pounds overweight. The “about” is due to my perennial fear of the scale. More of a clothes gal who teeters between loose, tight, and oops a new size is needed. This last category is mind-numbing. So I diet. I also teach. The two do not go hand-in-hand, unless you are supremely organized, or have a fabulous metabolism. My tips, tricks, and attempts at cooking in the real working world coupled with being over 50. Ok, actually 59. My ideas are also designed to guide those that are as inept as I am in the kitchen or just want a few shortcuts.

So here we go. First of all, I am using Weight Watchers (I left Noom due to cost) as my primary plan and tracker, but have also added a new “health” component. I am using frozen vegetarian meals from a variety of sources to quickly have a healthy meal under seven points, eat less meat, and have a higher count of daily veggies. Why frozen? Unlike so many bloggers, I can’t cook. So I bring you the simplistic reality of those that can’t create insta worthy meals or just don’t have time. Lucky for me I am low in sodium so the extra salt is ok for my intake. But yes, watch your salt. Please.

On my plan, I have twenty-three points a day. I choose to divide them up fairly evenly. Breakfast is five or under, lunch is seven or under, one snack with three points or under, and dinner is at eight or under. This is twenty-three. Boom. Obviously, these numbers are at my high totals. But it is a plan I can live with as I have tried living on zero points. It does not work for me at all.

This week I am sharing my teacher breakfast and lunch planning. Why? I eat in my car (I am not alone) in the morning so I can create time for my Peloton and have thirty minutes for lunch. It’s a race and my total day can go off the rails if these two meals are not thought about carefully. Ever wander around a school cafeteria with no breakfast or lunch prepared. I have. Your options are thousands of calories. So, here are my after winter break, back to school lunches! Beware. I do not mind eating the same thing daily. I know I just lost all of you foodies. Note you can add all different veggies to your burger to make it different. Let’s see what I come up with this week.

This week is week one back to school after winter break. I will be cooking Boca burgers/chicken for my weekly lunches. At two points a burger OR the chicken at three points. These are winning alternatives. This week I am cooking both and switching it up. You cannot go wrong. Cooking lunch on Sunday for the week is a plus (keep it simple) as are the low points of the veggie alternatives and decreased meat and saturated fat. I keep a small jar of mustard in my frig (or grab a pouch from the cafeteria) and ta dah we have lunch. Pair this with a favorite fruit, grapes in my case, for zero points. If you want a bun use a sandwich thin by Oroweat for an additional two points. Lunch under six points. Winning. For a simple storage idea, I throw everything in a separate ziploc for each day and store in the frig on Sunday afternoons for my nightly quick packing. Fancy. Need a snack throw in a sugar free jello or some carrots or keep a secret protein bar/shake stash for emergencies when starvation hits and sweets sound delightful. The two lowest protein bars are the Protein One bar for two points or the Built Bar at three points. The lowest convenience shake is premier protein is at three points and worth it! Even if you have a bar/shake you are at nine points, which included your “special” afternoon snack. Not bad.

As for breakfast. I am as dull as they come. This week I am sticking with my faux chocolate muffin stuffed with veggies. Yum. Veggies Made Great has healthy muffins, saturated with vegetables, that I can’t taste. A plus. All for five points. I pair this with fruit and a quickly toss this into my lunch bag for a nice easy breakfast of champions as I head to school.

Here are my links for quick reference. Please note this is not a sponsored blog. These are my own ideas, thoughts, and of course my truth on taste, texture, and ease.

http://www.bocaburger.com

http://www.oroweat.com

http://www.proteinone.fiberone.com

http://www.built.com

http://www.veggiesmadegreat.com

Next week, my blog will focus on how my burger trick worked and tasted. Will I do it again? Do I suggest it? Did I add veggies to sharpen the taste? Also, did my breakfast, lunch, fruit, and veggie snacks keep me on a healthy track and cause my clothes to wiggle a little bit more.

Have a great week!

Posted on in granparent life, life

Life is Being Four

Four is a special number. If you are four or a grandparent of a four-year-old. Otherwise, not so special, I suppose. Personally, I like the number and so does my favorite human. You sing constantly, talk to yourself, come up with pure sweetness that melts the hearts of the grandparents in question, and have never-ending energy. Never-ending. I like four and embrace all of it with gusto.

Soon four will end, and that big number five hits out of nowhere or at least that is the feeling. Big moment. Pre-school melts into Kindergarten and with all that school brings. Schedules, learning, friends, birthday parties, and sports. Five is cool. I will like five. My human and I will take more adventures. Lego land, Disneyland, and of course, the waterhouse. Each year the adventures will grow as that is my gift to him, as it was my in-laws to our kid. Adventure, travel, and learning the skills of life.

But right now I like four, the perfect letter D’s and especially, the hugs.

Posted on in life

Doing the Gram

I do. Most of my pictures are silly non-filtered pictures for my own enjoyment and to feel a bit younger than my years. No rhyme, reason, or vibe. Just fun. To me it is what social media should be, a stream of family silliness, with attempted cool captions and puppy sites to follow for days. The stories are newer to me, but once you hit the first in your list, you find yourself down a rabbit hole of quick moments that are not as important as a post, but important enough to make the gram. Since, my cool factor is zero, I sometimes make my story my post. Yes, I know that crosses the line. They are meant to be separated in order of importance but it is fun and games in my world, as I am not a marketing maven or even have a product to push. So, I post whenever I want no matter how many times a day. If I want to capture a memory it goes up…Yes, I could just add to my Google photo albums, but this goes back to fun and make believe relevance. While I know there are peaks of online viewing but my pics can’t wait. Obviously. My five average likes on a decent pic with a relatively snappy tag makes me pleased. Over five and I feel viral. I get a bit full of myself. No one needs that. Nope. So, I will continue to play, enjoy, watch puppies, and occasionally feel especially important when I rise above my consistent viewership, as viral cool is not truly a number (well, it is) it is also just a grandma playing the game of social media and enjoying the connection which is what started it all!

Posted on in anxiety, caregiver, life

This Thing Called Life…

My days recently go from thinking of island life to going back to work. Now, I teach, so I have a few weeks of torture left. My mom has entered hospice. While that no longer brings me to a new level of panic, it does bring to light on what she can no longer accomplish that she once did with ease. Enter panic and the reality that our time is finite. This mixed with my recent back recovery and a few extra non-needed pounds. I am a mess who wants nothing more than to not be someone’s burden when there is more life to lead.

So while I have undergone weight gain and loss in my life. My consistent yo-yo has never been for any other reason than vanity and on the flip side, my love of food. Today is different I am now taking the time to read labels, give up salt, sugar, and the bad carbs. I am a new leafy eater with a side of protein. Right now I am cooking chicken and turkey to freeze for later in the coming weeks. I think they call this food prepping. I call this a forced chance to write. My goal is twenty pounds but I would be great with fifteen, as it might be enough to release the extra burden of stressors, I now feel truly caring for a parent who cannot take care of themselves.

The weight is heavy and mixed with everyday life almost too much as everything is out of my control. So I am going to learn to cook, meal prep, eat well for the first time in my life. I can control that. My exercise will be daily walking at 5:30 am to set me up for a successful school year, and I can control (not enjoy) those early hours. I will mix in meditation and restorative yoga as I heal and focus on our relationship as mother/daughter and probably write and focus on my grandson. It helps. Alot.

I am sure my next few or more blogs will be about my Miss Brenda. Of course liberties will be taken as that’s what I do. Take a story and try to see the lighter side of this thing called life. Follow along.

Posted on in family, granparent life, grey hair, life

Thirty-four Years of Bliss

When you only feel thirty-four years old, how can I have been married for thirty-four years? Is this possible? Please note the bliss is relative based on the day and recently the price of gas. But the fact that we have withstood trials and tribulations for over three decades creates a moment of pure reflection and wonder. Are we truly kindred spirits or do we just not give up. I believe the latter. Even soul mates drift apart. Marriage is work. Yes, we have our moments of romance but those are interrupted by the reality of day to day life.

After the decades you start floundering for gifts. Even cards quite don’t say it perfectly. As a family we have it all and the extraneous stuff is just stuff for instagram moments. You know, the nauseating ones, that make you feel like the posters are that happy daily. Nope. Don’t get me wrong I love jewelry and any fancy gift but often reality wins. This year I came up with a BBQ for the win and a special gift of family. Let me explain the latter as you understand the concept of the BBQ.

Well, it started with a trip to Prescott and no gift or card for me, the wife. I disguised my anger and kept up with the day. Then I saw my gift. He is three and my buddy. Day made. Anniversary made. All forgiven. We had a fabulous weekend of family, church, and getting to be part of our buddies baby to grown up room transistion. I love to spoil everyone I know. It’s my thing. Years ago the hubs parents bought our nursery and the big boy room furniture. Just because. We did the same. Just because. So, no jewelery or fancy new bag. Just the reality of life in the best possible way!

Posted on in family, life

Love

I have never been a cook. Nope. It is a running joke in our home. This has never bothered me as I learned the craft from my Sylvia. She had the love but not the touch. My grandfather and I just smiled and lied through our meals, as she enjoyed cooking just had zero ability. But oh, the lady could sew, clean, and wash clothes like nobody’s business. But cook. Nope. For some reason she raised me to think I did not need home skills. So I have none. I meander my way through our daily needs with exasperation and the wish of a fairy godmother. Thirty-three years later I do my best. No one complains but they do avoid my cooking. It’s ok. Enter the air fryer. Now, I am a gadget queen. Anything that makes life easier I am on it. We have vacuums and mops that wander our home and I replenish them with the newer models asap. They break. Easily. But the air fryer is a gift from the heavens as my cooking is now tolerable. The hubs is using phrases like, “let’s put this meal on repeat.” Yup, repeat. In all our years a second of anything has never been requested. So, my air fryer and I are on the best of terms. Meat, a bit of oil and spice plus the right settings and we have dinner. I even chopped the other night. That does not happen. But I did. I love my new friend. I named her Sylvia. I truly believe if my grandmother had this golden device she would have rocked our nightly meals.

Posted on in back pain, chronic pain, family, life, retirement

306 Days

Let’s first explain the title. I am taking this rather random number based on my physiotherapist’s ramblings on how long it takes to heal a back that is herniated. Tah-dah a title is born. Of course, the number might be wrong as I was medicated at this first meeting. Or is it? This back disaster is my current state combined with vertigo. I got super lucky. Weeks later, I can chuckle a bit and feel a bit of pride to be the star of an EMT horror story of difficult patients. Let me explain, while riding in the ambulance after having my husband stuff me with a protein bar, because he thinks water plus protein cures all ills, I vomited everywhere. Everywhere. Several times. On a happy note the hubs scrubbing forced his hand to promise me new flooring. Of course, a request since year two in the house, but heck eight years later is great. Back to the story. So, this sweet EMT, who sported a training badge, kept rattling on with stupid stories, that were keeping me from killing all of them in pursuit of pain meds. Anyhow, he held my vomit bag the entire way to the hospital. At our goodbyes. I thanked the kid and grabbed the captain and asked him to sign his papers and pass him for the day. Or did I ask for meds? I don’t know? Probably both. The captain promised he would happily sign him off as he peeled my hand out of his and yelled, “Take her away.”

Currently, I am on week five or day 271 of my current holding position of rest, PT, and more rest. I am off all meds that caused me to forget what I read, watched, re-read, and re-watched during my time of bedridden status. With the pain away but in a wet- cement state, I wait. I wait to start my life again. I am on pause. I long for the simplicity of my life that I led. I teach. I miss my kids. I spin. I miss my Echelon/Peloton app life. I am stuck in the house because I can’t drive due to the back and the vertigo. I miss people. But with all the things I miss there is so much more I have learned in the silence of my waiting. Serious thoughts have come my way while crying in pain. Religion. The importance of family. Work and my need for my social and intellectual growth plus monetary needs. Along with the harsh truth that I am easily replaced, especially at fifty-nine. There were also thoughts that can be filed under the not so serious. Cue the meds folks. Days of reality TV nonsense, movie upon movie, and many attempts at new binge shows. Note. Not a Bridgerton fan. Probably the only human who could not get through episode 1. All I could think of was the pain the actresses endured with their corsets. While the mundane entertained my mind, it was the big thoughts, that truly got me through the day. Not my twelve orders of athletic wear to make dressing easier or the endless scrolling and the constant attempt to find anything to take my mind of the situation at hand. Nope. The big stuff. Religion, family, and work. Repeat. It made the struggle of each day and each small success sweet.

Religion became my anchor. I prayed, read scripture, and talked alot to the man upstairs. I felt his presence, cried, and kept praying. For the first time I felt his guiding hand. Truly, in the darkness of our room I was not alone. Ever. This gave me hope and a feeling that my herniated disc came at a time that had no reason, but had every reason. I renewed my faith and my belief that I am never alone if I just give my life over to him. I have. Completely.

Family. Oh my. So many days I have taken my family for granted and allowed the little stuff to aggravate me, but once you need them to walk you to the bathroom, there is a new respect. The little annoyances in life are gone. Who cares about the toothpaste or how the dishwasher gets loaded or not. Or my control issues with my son. My crew rallied to just get me through the day. They became my daily cheerleaders, my rock during bad moments, and my everything. Family replaced my long list of wants and it still needs some soul searching as to why my control issues and wants superceded my families love. But I will continue on this path much after my pause button has been removed.

Work. It has been five weeks since I have seen my kids. I can’t imagine their current state. I just can’t. But since this was an extended leave I was caught off from school until I return. I have turned over all things I control with fervor to a state of “you do you” and I will pick up the pieces upon my return. While, I do not think I am replaceable. I am. Perhaps, my replacement does not give the quality I gave daily, but another has taken my place. This hurts. But before I officially retire, the discussion did happen the day after my hospital grand entrance. A bit soon. But needed. There before me stood a man that gave me the world almost thirty-four years ago, and he was doing it again. He put aside all worries of money. All. I cried as I listened to our future together which requires my health not my teachers salary. There were no tears about the end date. Just hopes and dreams of a healthy life both in Neebish, Mexico and our time here in the valley. I thought even the the discussion of leaving the workforce would hurt. Nope. Just gave me a world of options. I want to leave healthy. Not stuck in bed. So while I will return very shortly, I won’t kill myself. I won’t. Just be the best teacher and let the other BS fall to the wayside. How did I get into this situation in the first place by killing myself. No more.

Today, the vertigo is disappearing. The back needs one more appointment and possibly shots along with a full drying of my wet-cement. But I am coming back to my status of Go, go, go but never forgetting this time of pause and what I am graced with in my life.

Posted on in back pain, chronic pain, family, granparent life, grey hair, life

The Pursuit of Normality

Travel souvenirs are now adorned with stim stuff. From L-R Walgreens battery powered unit, Easy@Home rechargeable unit, and WI Touch Pro

Over the past ten days I have searched, researched, and guinea pigged my way back to a state of non-movement. By far this is the worst day I have ever felt in the history of my hip/back situation. No reasons. Probably, the large pops my body gave off after yesterday’s chiro session. No blame. The journey is long and the session was rough. But, as I lie around, I have good news to report. Yes. Good.

My favorite new TENS device is the Wi Touch Pro. The device itself is bulky, but it comes in green or orange, so at least I felt springy. I Just added batteries, downloaded the app on my phone, and chose my setting. Note: app can be wonky. Breathe. Yesterday, I did three sessions, for thirty minutes, in the morning and evening and was functional. Since this is a ten or more week rehab. I was not perfect. But I could walk, stop at a store, and buy Easter stuff for my grandnugget. I even made a simple dinner later on that evening for the hubs. He was shocked. It was edible. Double shock. Basically, I was enjoying simple pleasures that I no longer take for granted. No More! This feeling of progress was amazing. Then, late yesterday Dr. Chiro came back into my life. Ugh. Back to ice and heat today with a side of Real Housewives, one too many times. Due to my experience go buy Wi Touch Pro (non-solicitated) on Amazon for $89.00. It will be my morning and evening sessions, after my spasms stop. You can find it on www.amazon.com. It is worth every penny. Again, it is not a cure. It is just a helpful tool as you heal.

Easy@Home was my rechargeable unit. It gave me the non-pairing hassle and a simple on/off and plus/minus system for pressure. However, I found myself adjusting it often to hit all the areas of pain. But at home the odd positions, beeping often and glowing green until you beep off is worth it! My first attempt with device life was with the Easy@Home and have used it with success since my initial injury in December. This week, while visiting my nugget, and trying to survive my first attempt at normality. It was my go to product. My buddy enjoyed turning grandma on and off and my beeping. My robotic life humored him and allowed me to do priceless adventures. Since driving causes me to curse throughout the length of my trip, windows closed. Obviously. I decided to give Easy@Home a try while I drove home from Prescott. It was fabulous. In the world of buying a miracle, these units do mask the pain as you heal, and this lower cost unit at $36.00 produces bang for the buck. Go get it! www.amazon.com

My next unit, for school next week. Yes. I am a teacher. Pray. I have asked for forgiveness and have requested to wear lululemon dupes for the next few weeks. My go-to is Baleaf or Crz Yoga, all found on Amazon. Duh! So, if you see a teacher looking extra sporty. You found me. I have no choice as the units do not work under clothes that constrain. They hit the on/off button and poof, pain comes back, and you are left with your hand in crazy positions. Which looks odd in public, frankly anywhere. But as I teach. NO BUENO. Between the buttons, and consistently beeping. My students would go bananas. So, the AUVON system will be for my weekday school adventures. It is a wired product that has a remote, that does need Bluetooth, and controls with twenty-four different sessions. I am trying hard to be there for my kids next week, but I know staying in school last week damaged me further. Just my stubborn ways. Note to self. Back injury equates going home. This unit was $39.00 and I found it on Amazon. Duh! Please note that all of these units are reviewed just by me. That’s it. Me. I am not paid. Just another rehabbing patient trying to find inner peace.

Posted on in back pain, family, granparent life, life

My Back Series #3

A variety of dribble…

I would like this back/hip pain to end. Truly, not my thing chatting about pain. Currently resting on heat, and planning my Pain is Gone Party. I will invite all of you. Don’t have a date, sorry. A party sounds fabulous and a way to celebrate the chains that bind leaving. Recently, I have stimmed myself into oblivion and now awaiting an acupressure mat, (review to follow) that looks like torture. Since, I am in this space, what is the harm? A big takeaway from this daily hell is that I have noticed how people treat daily pain. They give advice. Stupid advice. All I want is a hug and a cleaning lady on repeat. Not advice. But I listen, as running away is literally not an option. My son, true chronic pain sufferer, has dealt with my stupid advice from me for years. I have apologized. Funny, he gives no advice. Just hugs. Apology accepted. I hope. So, while I plan my party, as it will happen. I envision all my torture objects thrown into a bon fire and a celebratory poof to see them off. Too much? Probably. My second thought is a new MCM bag and a shopping spree. 🛍 That will do.