As a teacher, sitting around in PJ’s is heaven, but it brings me to the neverending contemplating of getting on the semiglutide train. It brings concerns, but I have been on a weight loss journey since May and have lost six pounds. Golf clap, but no more, I have tried. Cut back, tracked, rode miles a day. But still, about a pound a month. At this rate, I will collect social security before my loss has been completed. Oh. How much? Forty pounds. It’s a nice round number, and to do this, I need a kickstart. Or a kick in the arse. Both this will be should I decide.
There are two camps of semiglutide users. The ones that deny and the ones that say bring it on. Obviously, I am the latter but still with fear and medical concerns. But my docs are the Mayo Clinic, so I know I am in good hands and not buying the meds online with a hot script. Not that it did not cross my mind.
But as for today I am still here in my PJ’s and still have two choices. I can stay on the slow train or take a trip and restart my health journey and my relationship with food.
Sweat is dripping onto my eyelids and into my eyes, causing blurred vision. I wipe away my fluids only to have buckets seemingly fall from the sky. This was my longest ride, best PR, and mileage pee minute did not suck. I am breathless, but the type you want again, and my mind is clear. Yesterday, I took a cheat day in my 21-day habit forming exercise. I needed it and while my calendar notes a blank hole, my guilt got the best of me and I did yoga for fifteen minutes after midnight. To me I am still on track, neurotic, but now understand a day off of exercise is not an option.
However, last night was pure perfection for this calorie counting, protein shoving, and daily spinning grandma. A burger and a glass of champs! Absolute heaven. I have been so great in the numbers and workout department, but I knew I needed a bit of a treat. I did not work out. Horror, and I ate food with saturated fat. It was yummy. Was it necessary? Yes. It delighted my taste buds and caused me to miss working out and feeling the after-effects of too much of a good thing. It was a testament to my newly built strength, habits that are forming, and the realization that this will take a year of my life, but a life filled with the new real focus of the mayo way health. Count calories and protein. Period, and move daily beyond from couch to kitchen.
While strides are happening, the food, drink, and workout break were fabulous. However, the guilt felt was and is miserable, and it is my job on my long-term lifestyle change to fully enbrace that guilt has no place in this scenario. So, today, I pushed, excelled, and realized that while I still love a culinary delight. I love the person I am becoming more!
A mantra firmly planted on my wall in front of my bike. During a ride, I read it over and over and extend the meaning beyond my pedals. Currently, I am relearning the art of enjoyment. Depression is odd. I know I am blessed, have a great daily life as a teacher, make a difference, and am loved. But the feeling persists. A dark cloud that chases me and, at times, hovers. On good days, it allows the sun to shine through for my reminder me that life is amazing even with a depressive persona. This will never go away. Clouds will be off to the side waiting to dart towards my life, but the clarity of life is my goal, and my understanding that this is one big ride is a milestone that I celebrated by taking a chance and talking to my physician about the dreaded topic of weight. I had gained. I knew it. For many reasons, this was a bold move, but I was ready.
Now, having a weighty conversation is awkward, but it is better to have it with a doctor who has known you for years. You can at least forgive their bedside horrors, and frankly, facts are facts. So, we started with the number. He just pointed to my chart. I cried, and during my blubbering, I was proud of myself as I made no excuses. Nope. I owned my issue, not worrying about how many clouds would chase after me, bringing me that feeling of dread. To my surprise, I left lighter and full of hope as I have three months to get new habits, a weigh-in, and then the discussion if I need medical help. We both are fighting that one, but this is Mayo. Their plan is stronger than the corner shot clinic, and my goal is thirty-five pounds. For me, this will take six months to a year due to the list of meds that keep my epilepsy in check. I left with a caloric target and a protein goal. A huge one to keep carbs and bad fats away. This, with a serious upgrade in riding, a bit of low weights, pilates, or yoga on off days is the ticket.
Fast forward to day four. I am hungry, but protein seems to keep me in check. I miss food but realize this is life, not a diet. Eating correctly and working out or suffering an alternative far bleaker than a dancing dark cloud is my choice , and I can not break my eating or fitness patterns anymore, as 61 is 61 and while weight loss will not chase all my clouds away the sunshine will peer through occasionally as the success of consistency brings hope and hope is eternally powerful force for those living with depression.
I have not felt this sort of initial love in decades. It is as we were made for each other, as this is my answer, to all things cooking. Imagine a scan and go technology with the ability to churn out meals that have ingredients only tasted by my household in restaurants. I can’t cook, but marvel at those that can and actually love the process. I applaud you. I am more of the shop, five minute prep and scan girl. Oh, I can do chicken nuggets and lunchables but charcuterie still comes in plastic with my shop, open and go mentality, and I am ok with this.
The hubs heard of this Christmas gift to myself and he balked. You can cook, it will be costly, yadda yadda. I ignored. So far, he likes it. It is not a love match as he has his own eating peculiarities (bariatric patient) but so far I have received a positive reaction. I am just learning to order for him and myself separately. I am low calorie and he gets what wants and divides it up. It works and makes me happy. Tonight is a Korean pork dish. Yum.
The upsides of this new countertop space grabber far outweighs its bulkiness in a world gone minimal. We are eating balanced low calorie meals that are portioned correctly and enjoying our choices, more time together, and sometimes a fancy lunch, if leftovers or an extra chicken, does no meet his tastebuds.
So run do not walk to www.tovala.com and find you machine, meals, and your new best friend.
As a menopausal mama, I fully realize that moniker might offend, as it sounds rather ancient and the least woke tag one could give themselves, but I love the ring to it and it makes me laugh and a good chuckle reduces stress and in turn, hot flashes. Currently, I am trying all aspects of reducing inflammation i.e., my fat. Ok, there are other areas of internal swelling, but those are internal, and since I have been in fanning club as long as I can remember, all I care about is the fat. With my intermittent fasting still going strong. I took a day off today. I find one day of breakfast is rather nice, besides my hunger has not gone unnoticed in these two weeks. Some days are better than others and still trying to get my patterns down as to why. I have added juice shots. They will cost you, but extra liquid vitamins plus my regular routine. Why not? I can think of at least one reason. Taste. They are awful, but hey it’s a shot. That’s it, and the aftertaste will only last a few minutes. Ugh. But they make me feel amazing. Right now, just doing the immunity with turmeric and cayenne, but you can go crazy and do all sorts of good for you little drinks. When you do it is up to you in my world, as I am not an expert, just someone passing along information with an added giggle or two, as we are all in this stage together. If you like morning, mid-day, or even evening. Do it. I am a mid-day gal right after fasting. But the added vitamins coursing through my veins gives me this added jolt of energy and I am sure, releasing inner inflammation as I type. As for the outer stuff. I notice something, but still not ready, for that square object with numbers on it hiding in my bathroom corner. Not ready at all.
It’s been approximately a month. I have had my good girl and bad girl moments. During this time I knew I needed more guidance. I have found the holy grail for menopause mama’s and rid myself of all the other weight loss noises in my life. Good-bye Weight Watchers, good-bye Noom, again and the Carb manager app I was using as I tried to rid myself of all things good, while fasting. All at once. I went deep and fast. That never works. It didn’t.
But I am back. A new sensation on this tenth day that will not leave me is hunger. Not just in the morning but throughout the day. All my deep dives give the same song and dance, allow me to paraphrase the countless holes of information that gave me a ray of hope and more hunger. Don’t quit, you will get used to it, only two to four weeks and it is just another daily skill, and the worst, some have no hunger after two days. Who are you? We must meet so you can share your recipes. But not quitting. Not this time. What’s three more weeks of feeling hungry, grumpy, and tired if on the otherside is my menopause mama holy grail to weight loss and health.
The changes I have made are drastic, although I sneak a carb now and then. I am sugar and almost carb free, my calories are low and my overall carb intake in in range of Keto. My vitamin intake is huge and have added juice shots for added benefits. I am all in and I feel accomplished. My steps have risen and I am closing in on 300 rides. My mind is clear. A big step and I have a bit more energy. A bit. But I am hungry. But my clothes feel better. But I am hungry. So, wjile no drastic scale changes, I feel but better. That’s enough. For now, it is alot.
My new lifestyle guru, the creator of the Galvaston diet, and some great products.
The four words I long to hear, as I try harder than anyone I know to move my last twenty. “Have you lost weight?” Just combine menopause plus my epilepsy meds that keep me ticking. It equates ounces lost a week not pounds when I give it my all. I am in my ALL phase. Still intermittent fasting, replacing chewing food with protein shakes to cut calories and throw in collagen, greens, and fruit plus now saying see ya to wheat and sugar. Not permanently. I am doing OK. I have not got on the scale. Nope. Avoiding it as it cause me to spiral in the moments of doing it ALL. This new phase of life, which is a daily struggle but getting easier does give me an overall sense of health, energy, and less mental fog. But the words help and they were from my physical therapist who has me touched alot. You know what I mean!
The question today made me feel like a superwoman who will continue down this path, because it’s working. It’s hard but it’s working. Keep it up friends on this path while this is a soaring moment, I have felt all of the feels of pushing myself to get healthy for this forever final twenty.
It is all in the habits that are built through time and effort that equate weight loss or the healthy weight or size or feeling your desire.
I start. I stop. I start. I stop. I start. I stop. I start. I have a magic number, don’t we all. But truly not sure if my number is above or below my possible fantasy.
I know what to do and how to do it. We all do. Life never gets in the way of success. It is us. There are good alternative decisions everywhere and time abounds for movement. It does. It comes down to us. Always. We stand in our own way and diet gurus capitalize on our own lack of discipline.
On the last day of the parent teacher conference, life hit me hard. I have had this parent in my life for almost two years. I have seen her happier and moving easier. Not today. The parent admitted to just having a stroke. Her movement is impaired and no longer can she work. Big. She is a nurse. Or was as she doubts that will ever be her path again. She is twenty years younger. It is obvious that care was not something she gave herself, but as a nurse she does know how to take care of the human body or was it the above excuses we make about foods and fitness plus the stressors of life that caused this scary period of her life. Who is to say. I teared up at her story. It could be anyone. Anytime.
So, I did what anyone with the “habitual excuses syndrome” does, I ordered pizza. I enjoyed it and today is a new day. Not of excuses or deprivation but one that copes with the good foods and special yummy choices without guilt. At almost sixty starvation is not my thing. I get bitchy. Let super models live that life. Last night, no guilt, which is new for me, as I usually have pounds of guilt added to my already full scale of weight. I realized that I try to build all the good habits at the same time and instead of pure success I am stuck in the partially proficient model. That never works. So, I am starting with my “almost gotcha habits.” For me I “almost gotcha” daily spinning, I “almost gotcha” on water intake, and on my weekly Weight Watcher meetings. I don’t almost gotcha perfect food choices, but I am pretty much sugar and low carb on most days. So, I am going to finish my February with water, movement, my weekly Weight Watcher meetings, (love the virtual option), and making better choices. Let’s call this cognizant eating. Right now, my crockpot is humming with pork ribs and sugar free sauce. Yes, this is ok, ask Weight Watchers and tomorrow in the crockpot will be chili. That will keep our small family fed for the week along with a chicken sausage night with Alexia sweet potato fries. Simplicity for our family of two, is key, due to my ability as a chef and my husband’s palate. So, with twenty to lose and my new understanding that all new habits cannot be built overnight as the diet gurus profess, the building habits slowly and completely will get me across the finish line, while still enjoying life, and staving off the constant excuses and guilt that comes with enjoying life, making a mistake, or just not feeling it that day because let’s face it until your needed healthy choices become part of your daily routine you will never be at the goals you dream of. Never.
So, write down your goals, start with the simple routines you can feel successful with, and keep adding new ones and follow through until it becomes a daily need. not a chore. May I suggest Weight Watchers if you need some guidance, they fit my needs, and have the healthiest relationship with food and life. Not Noom, not the Metabolic Guru, not intermittent fasting, nope Weight Watchers. This is not a paid ad. Just saying.
No fanfare. Just pride. You see, I don’t fall off my combo Echelon/Peloton system. Onto 300 rides which I will hit before my 60th and pondering the real Peloton for my 60th. I deserve it! Easily. Entering the rare live class will be a treat and truly just a hunt for a shout-out. One can hope. But even without the children shouting my name, it will be a victory. Weight comes and goes but fitness or heck, just movement, lasts a lifetime. As for the extra handles and such they are departing at a snails pace but going in the correct direction. A slimmer self and the utter joy my rides bring to me, is all I can ask for in this, my fitness life. Plus the real Peloton. Besides the echelon needs to make a trip up North so I don’t miss my summer rides.
Cortisol, a word I never used until this year. It should be the eighth dirty word. It is a sneaky bugger that wreaks havoc on women. Have we not had enough life changes in our fifty plus years. A fat gut, while living on lettuce and air is no reward that feels worthy for the pain of child-birth or the menstrual suffering. We deserve better. I suggest shoes and a new bag, or two, to ease into the depths of cortisol, as no one escapes this misery.
Technically, “Cortisol is a steroid hormone, in the glucocorticoid class of hormones. When used as a medication, it is known as hydrocortisone. It is produced in many animals, mainly by the zona fasciculata of the adrenal cortex in the adrenal gland. It is produced in other tissues in lower quantities.” Or “Cortisol, the primary stress hormone, increases sugars (glucose) in the bloodstream, enhances your brain’s use of glucose and increases the availability of substances that repair tissues. Cortisol also curbs functions that would be nonessential or harmful in a fight-or-flight situation.”In simple terms it is a regulator of stress. More stress, more cortisol and more sugar and weight. Told you it was a bad word.
The basic symptoms of cortisol imbalance are the following:
Weight gain, especially in your face and abdomen.
Fatty deposits between your shoulder blades.
Wide, purple stretch marks on your abdomen (belly).
Muscle weakness in your upper arms and thighs.
High blood sugar, which often turns into Type 2 diabetes.
In essence if you are in menopause or postmenopausal, you fall into this category, and are struggling with the physical and emotional effects. For the weary there is little sleep, weight gain, emotions out of wack, and the feeling that you do not belong in any category of clothes as your age and body don’t match. You feel out of sorts. Everyday. There is no cure. Only to try to balance your system out with the correct diet and exercise. Now, while I profess to trying every diet in existence, and recently a fasting gig, that made me feel a longing for coffee creamer in my sad black coffee that I could not get down. I know life is not a diet. They don’t work. It is consistently eating well plus movement thst equals less weight and overall health. The diets are just fads that give us the illusion that our weight gained through last night’s pizza or hormone imbalance is possible. With work, patience, and putting diets on the shelf and embracing the concept of eating for our age and our bodies.
Not a paid promotion but just began Metabolic Renewal. I am on week one but love the support group and learning that I am not alone as I tread the waters of an almost carb free and sugar free life, oh and exercise. So far, I feel more energetic. I will take that for a win. As for the scale, we broke up, not sure we will have date again. Possibly, in a few weeks. https://www.metabolicrenewal.com/
Silver With Stories 