Just One

Sweat is dripping onto my eyelids and into my eyes, causing blurred vision. I wipe away my fluids only to have buckets seemingly fall from the sky. This was my longest ride, best PR, and mileage pee minute did not suck. I am breathless, but the type you want again, and my mind is clear. Yesterday, I took a cheat day in my 21-day habit forming exercise. I needed it and while my calendar notes a blank hole,  my guilt got the best of me and I did yoga for fifteen minutes after midnight. To me I am still on track, neurotic, but now understand a day off of exercise is not an option.

However, last night was pure perfection for this calorie counting, protein shoving, and daily spinning grandma. A burger and a glass of champs! Absolute heaven. I have been so great in the numbers and workout department, but I knew I needed a bit of a treat. I did not work out. Horror, and I ate food with saturated fat. It was yummy. Was it necessary? Yes. It delighted my taste buds and caused me to miss working out and feeling the after-effects of too much of a good thing. It was a testament to my newly built strength, habits that are forming, and the realization that this will take a year of my life, but a life filled with the new real focus of the mayo way health. Count calories and protein. Period, and move daily beyond from couch to kitchen.

While strides are happening, the food, drink, and workout break were fabulous. However, the guilt felt was and is miserable, and it is my job on my long-term lifestyle change to fully enbrace that guilt has no place in this scenario. So, today, I pushed, excelled, and realized that while I still love a culinary delight. I love the person I am becoming more!

Enjoy the Ride

A mantra firmly planted on my wall in front of my bike. During a ride, I read it over and over and extend the meaning beyond my pedals. Currently, I am relearning the art of enjoyment. Depression is odd. I know I am blessed, have a great daily life as a teacher, make a difference, and am loved. But the feeling persists. A dark cloud that chases me and, at times, hovers. On good days, it allows the sun to shine through for my reminder me that life is amazing even with a depressive persona. This will never go away. Clouds will be off to the side waiting to dart towards my life, but the clarity of life is my goal, and my understanding that this is one big ride is a milestone that I celebrated by taking a chance and talking to my physician about the dreaded topic of weight. I had gained. I knew it. For many reasons, this was a bold move, but I was ready.

Now, having a weighty conversation is awkward, but it is  better to have it with a doctor who has known you for years. You can at least forgive their bedside horrors, and frankly, facts are facts. So, we started with the number. He just pointed to my chart. I cried, and during my blubbering, I was proud of myself as I made no excuses. Nope. I owned my issue, not worrying about how many clouds would chase after me, bringing me that feeling of dread. To my surprise, I left lighter and full of hope as I have three months to get new habits, a weigh-in, and then the discussion if I need medical help. We both are fighting that one, but this is Mayo. Their plan is stronger than the corner shot clinic, and my goal is thirty-five pounds. For me, this will take six months to a year due to the list of meds that keep my epilepsy in check. I left with a caloric target and a protein goal. A huge one to keep carbs and bad fats away. This, with a serious upgrade in riding, a bit of low weights, pilates, or yoga on off days is the ticket.

Fast forward to day four. I am hungry, but protein seems to keep me in check. I miss food but realize this is life, not a diet. Eating correctly and working out or suffering an alternative far bleaker than a dancing dark cloud is my choice , and I can not break my eating or fitness patterns  anymore, as 61 is 61 and while weight loss will not chase all my clouds away the sunshine will peer through occasionally as the success of consistency brings hope and hope is eternally powerful force for those living with depression.

Enter Tovala

My Best Friend

I have not felt this sort of initial love in decades. It is as we were made for each other, as this is my answer, to all things cooking. Imagine a scan and go technology with the ability to churn out meals that have ingredients only tasted by my household in restaurants. I can’t cook, but marvel at those that can and actually love the process. I applaud you. I am more of the shop, five minute prep and scan girl. Oh, I can do chicken nuggets and lunchables but charcuterie still comes in plastic with my shop, open and go mentality, and I am ok with this.

The hubs heard of this Christmas gift to myself and he balked. You can cook, it will be costly, yadda yadda. I ignored. So far, he likes it. It is not a love match as he has his own eating peculiarities (bariatric patient) but so far I have received a positive reaction. I am just learning to order for him and myself separately. I am low calorie and he gets what wants and divides it up. It works and makes me happy. Tonight is a Korean pork dish. Yum.

The upsides of this new countertop space grabber far outweighs its bulkiness in a world gone minimal. We are eating balanced low calorie meals that are portioned correctly and enjoying our choices, more time together, and sometimes a fancy lunch, if leftovers or an extra chicken, does no meet his tastebuds.

So run do not walk to www.tovala.com and find you machine, meals, and your new best friend.

Salmon, brocoli and fancy sauce

Intermittent Fasting Continues

It’s been approximately a month. I have had my good girl and bad girl moments. During this time I knew I needed more guidance. I have found the holy grail for menopause mama’s and rid myself of all the other weight loss noises in my life. Good-bye Weight Watchers, good-bye Noom, again and the Carb manager app I was using as I tried to rid myself of all things good, while fasting. All at once. I went deep and fast. That never works. It didn’t.

But I am back. A new sensation on this tenth day that will not leave me is hunger. Not just in the morning but throughout the day. All my deep dives give the same song and dance, allow me to paraphrase the countless holes of information that gave me a ray of hope and more hunger. Don’t quit, you will get used to it, only two to four weeks and it is just another daily skill, and the worst, some have no hunger after two days. Who are you? We must meet so you can share your recipes. But not quitting. Not this time. What’s three more weeks of feeling hungry, grumpy, and tired if on the otherside is my menopause mama holy grail to weight loss and health.

The changes I have made are drastic, although I sneak a carb now and then. I am sugar and almost carb free, my calories are low and my overall carb intake in in range of Keto. My vitamin intake is huge and have added juice shots for added benefits. I am all in and I feel accomplished. My steps have risen and I am closing in on 300 rides. My mind is clear. A big step and I have a bit more energy. A bit. But I am hungry. But my clothes feel better. But I am hungry. So, wjile no drastic scale changes, I feel but better. That’s enough. For now, it is alot.

My new lifestyle guru, the creator of the Galvaston diet, and some great products.

https://galvestondiet.com/

https://www.kevita.com/products/sparkling-probiotic-drink/

https://www.walmart.com/browse/health/immunity-boosters-shots/976760_1544540_8925996

https://310nutrition.com/blogs/all/vanilla-almond-protein-shake

https://whisps.com/

Have You Lost Weight?

The four words I long to hear, as I try harder than anyone I know to move my last twenty. “Have you lost weight?” Just combine menopause plus my epilepsy meds that keep me ticking. It equates ounces lost a week not pounds when I give it my all. I am in my ALL phase. Still intermittent fasting, replacing chewing food with protein shakes to cut calories and throw in collagen, greens, and fruit plus now saying see ya to wheat and sugar. Not permanently. I am doing OK. I have not got on the scale. Nope. Avoiding it as it cause me to spiral in the moments of doing it ALL. This new phase of life, which is a daily struggle but getting easier does give me an overall sense of health, energy, and less mental fog. But the words help and they were from my physical therapist who has me touched alot. You know what I mean!

The question today made me feel like a superwoman who will continue down this path, because it’s working. It’s hard but it’s working. Keep it up friends on this path while this is a soaring moment, I have felt all of the feels of pushing myself to get healthy for this forever final twenty.

No Basket, Flowers, or Outside Air. Just 200 Rides.

No fanfare. Just pride. You see, I don’t fall off my combo Echelon/Peloton system. Onto 300 rides which I will hit before my 60th and pondering the real Peloton for my 60th. I deserve it! Easily. Entering the rare live class will be a treat and truly just a hunt for a shout-out. One can hope. But even without the children shouting my name, it will be a victory. Weight comes and goes but fitness or heck, just movement, lasts a lifetime. As for the extra handles and such they are departing at a snails pace but going in the correct direction. A slimmer self and the utter joy my rides bring to me, is all I can ask for in this, my fitness life. Plus the real Peloton. Besides the echelon needs to make a trip up North so I don’t miss my summer rides.

Cortisol

Cortisol, a word I never used until this year. It should be the eighth dirty word. It is a sneaky bugger that wreaks havoc on women. Have we not had enough life changes in our fifty plus years. A fat gut, while living on lettuce and air is no reward that feels worthy for the pain of child-birth or the menstrual suffering. We deserve better. I suggest shoes and a new bag, or two, to ease into the depths of cortisol, as no one escapes this misery.

Technically, “Cortisol is a steroid hormone, in the glucocorticoid class of hormones. When used as a medication, it is known as hydrocortisone. It is produced in many animals, mainly by the zona fasciculata of the adrenal cortex in the adrenal gland. It is produced in other tissues in lower quantities.” Or “Cortisol, the primary stress hormone, increases sugars (glucose) in the bloodstream, enhances your brain’s use of glucose and increases the availability of substances that repair tissues. Cortisol also curbs functions that would be nonessential or harmful in a fight-or-flight situation.”In simple terms it is a regulator of stress. More stress, more cortisol and more sugar and weight. Told you it was a bad word.

The basic symptoms of cortisol imbalance are the following:

  1. Weight gain, especially in your face and abdomen.
  2. Fatty deposits between your shoulder blades.
  3. Wide, purple stretch marks on your abdomen (belly).
  4. Muscle weakness in your upper arms and thighs.
  5. High blood sugar, which often turns into Type 2 diabetes.

In essence if you are in menopause or postmenopausal, you fall into this category, and are struggling with the physical and emotional effects. For the weary there is little sleep, weight gain, emotions out of wack, and the feeling that you do not belong in any category of clothes as your age and body don’t match. You feel out of sorts. Everyday. There is no cure. Only to try to balance your system out with the correct diet and exercise. Now, while I profess to trying every diet in existence, and recently a fasting gig, that made me feel a longing for coffee creamer in my sad black coffee that I could not get down. I know life is not a diet. They don’t work. It is consistently eating well plus movement thst equals less weight and overall health. The diets are just fads that give us the illusion that our weight gained through last night’s pizza or hormone imbalance is possible. With work, patience, and putting diets on the shelf and embracing the concept of eating for our age and our bodies.

Not a paid promotion but just began Metabolic Renewal. I am on week one but love the support group and learning that I am not alone as I tread the waters of an almost carb free and sugar free life, oh and exercise. So far, I feel more energetic. I will take that for a win. As for the scale, we broke up, not sure we will have date again. Possibly, in a few weeks. https://www.metabolicrenewal.com/

Alternate Image

We have mental images of ourselves. I am skinnier. This of course is odd. Most have the inner picture of our bodies as larger. Some all over. Some in certain places. But larger. I think smaller in an overall general body image, until I found a mirror on a bad day in workout gear. That is a picture no one needs to see, especially the owner of this body. Nope. I kept looking unable to see me, just a foreign old lady that was anyone but me on any given day. I wanted to run and hid but instead I realized the true power of the before picture.

Now, my fantasy ideal of the skinny me has been replaced by reality, which I am now painting a tad worse in my minds eye. But it is the picture in my weary old head that now keeps me motivated to stay on points, fast, drink lemon water, and detox with hibiscus tea and get on my bike. I notice about three ounces gone…but I continue as fat was not built in a day, and overall health is the goal. Not a size. But surely not the old hag in the mirror. Somewhere in between, with my continued motivation I will succeed not only in health but coming to grips with 60 and the obvious changes it brings, even to those of great beauty. We all suffer a bit. It shows physically but we really are dealing with the mental struggle of age compounded with a bit of extra skin.

With each new day. on this journey, I say positive affirmations, pray, and look at myself in a new way. I see the changes. Others will as well, but at three or four ounces of loss, I understand their difficulties. Now, my change is just for me and my pride. Others may just see my acceptance and glow of growing health, and that might be the best gift. Along with twenty pounds.

Intermittent Fasting

If I lost twenty pounds that would be enough for me to stop feeling like I live on a life of dieting. Truth be told, I need to lose this weight. Not optional. Obviously, no gun to my head, just a life of desires to be met, and weight does limit us in many ways. I have flipped and flopped dieting programs to find the magic cure and save a buck or two. Today, I go deeper. Intermittent fasting. Aka starving. I am choosing the 16:8 schedule because it is the only one I feel is remotely possible in my life. The basic concept is eat at noon and stop at 8pm. Obviously, normal healthy meals that fit into my point system. Not just anything that comes my way during this time frame. I am already hungry. My choices are water, black coffee, tea, and a green juice with low enougg carbs so it is really not a food. Unsure where that exists, so going to stick with the other options.

It is 7 AM and I have already broken the mold of fasting. I put less than a tablespoon of my creamer in my coffee. I guess that’s it right. No, I will work towards black coffee. I tried it…spit it out…and added a bit of creamer. I am a work in progress. Definitely.

10:18 AM starving. Drinking more coffee with the untraceable amount of creamer and switching to my water while fantasizing about lunch. Not in a great place.

11:40 AM LUNCH. I survived. I guess. My Real Food frozen bowl and carrots were inhaled and I treated myself with a protein bar for the win at two points. With that plus my water I did not feel deprived and my point count was obviously lower. I could see how this could work if I stay with this same motivation until retirement.

My thoughts of my morning starvation were gone until around dinner. I knew my window was short and my points flexible. Tonight, I had planned pasta. Perfect. Along with some fruit and the two (yes two) sugar free jello puddings, my points were intact. If I had given up the second jello, I would have been under my point goal. So, the evening is the time to be careful. No, I do not need to eat all my points. Just what I had planned for dinner. No extra or additional snacks. Just the snacks planned for the day, one after-school and an evening treat usually jello or popcorn. I am a wild one.

Day 2 begins and I am hungry but I am ignoring this feeling and looking forward to my coffee with a bit of creamer. Sorry not sorry. If starving is what weight loss goals are made of creamer is staying in my impure world as today I feel lighter. Just a bit.

Nooming Part 3

I broke up with Noom. It was not because I did not believe in the system. Nope. It was the price. Here is the breakdown give or take any recent changes and keep in mind I am a teacher.

Monthly auto-renewing plan $70 USD

1. 2 month auto-renewing plan $129 USD

2. 3 month auto-renewing plan $159 USD

3. 4 month auto-renewing plan $169 USD

4. 5 month auto-renewing plan $174 USD

5. 6 month auto-renewing plan $179 USD

6. 7 month auto-renewing plan $184 USD

7. 8 month auto-renewing plan $189 USD

8. 9 month auto-renewing plan $195 USD

9. 10 month auto-renewing plan $199 USD

10. 11 month auto-renewing plan $205 USD

11. Annual auto-renewing plan $209 USD

Any plan you choose is pricey. So since I am basically counting what goes into my mouth I went back to Weight Watchers, my old friend. While there is still a cost it is more palatable.

1. The Unlimited Workshops + Digital plan starts at $6.92/week ($27.68 per month).

2. The Digital 360 plan starts at $4.61/week ($18.44 per month).

3. The Digital plan starts at $3.38/week ($13.52 per month).

So, obviously a difference. Let’s face it WW is the queen of weight loss, and as such, offers more in the way of recipies, support, articles, online and offline workshops etc. Noom sold me as it did not feel like a diet but it was and while you could eat your foods in their associated colors, if you were not careful nothing would budge. That happened but it was not the program it was my interpretation of amounts. So the point system instead of the color system works for me, as I cannot cheat as easily. Note as easily.

No program will make you lose weight. Only you can do it, armed with a plan, that works for you and your needs. I still believe in both programs and actually miss my little Noom bot who checked on me daily but her cost and wide range of colorful ways to push the limit guided me back to a stricter environment. Twenty-three points a day. I have already consumed three!

http://www.noom.com

http://www.weightwatchers.com